Sibling Issues

Acknowledge the feelings and concerns they have toward their sibling. This could include guilt, jealousy, isolation, a need for information, and future care giving. These feelings may change over time, check in with them often.

Have high expectations for everyone, but also realistic ones. Some children with a sibling with autism feel they have to exceed parental expectations to make up for their sibling. And high expectations for children with autism will benefit everyone in the family.

Each sibling, whether having autism or not, should have opportunities to meet peers and develop relationships outside of the home. Allow them to develop self-determination and independence.

Individual time with parents is just as important for siblings as time amongst peers, time alone, or family time. Siblings need to know they are just as important as the sibling with autism. Individual time with parents is just as important for siblings as time amongst peers, time alone, or family time. Siblings need to know they are just as important as the sibling with autism.

Help your child form a relationship with their brother or sister with autism. Siblings often find their attempts to interact with a brother or sister with autism rebuffed, therefore, they would need your help in learning the skills needed to interact with their brother or sister. Help them understand how to get their sibling's attention, give simple play instructions, and praise good play.

Explain to your children what autism is. Do it early and often! Give your children age appropriate explanations to help them understand the behaviors. As your children age, their questions about their siblings needs will change, your job is to listen to the questions and answer them as best you can in an age approriate way.

Understand the stress your children may experience. Embarassment around peers, jealousy over the lack of attention they receive, being the target of aggressive behavior, concern over your stress, concerns over their future as a caregiver are all valid sources of stress. Give your children the help and support they need as these issues arise.

Remember you don't have to do everything as a family. If there are events you must attend with your children that deserve your focus that your child with autism cannot tolerate, it is okay to have one parent stay home with him or her.